Samantha Snape, The One and Only!
by Kira's Loyal Follower
Summary: Snape is in for a rather large surprise when he gets to Dumbledore's office and meets a very original american.... WAIT? Snape is her what?
1. StepFather

**Hey there y'all! It's me! This shall officially be my very first Harry Potter fan fiction! Aren't you all supremely hyped!? *crickets begin to chirp in the background* Okay, time for subject change. The idea for this story kind of just popped into my little head, so I'll run with it! Also, I know that I should be typing up the next chapter for my other fan fiction, but I couldn't help my urge to get this idea bubble out of my head!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any of the character's. I only own this plotline, and my new tiny puppet, Samantha Kline.**

**Snape; What in God's Name processed you to push a child into my care?! All they do is complain, disobey, cry about their relation-**

**Sam; HEY! You haven't even met me yet Mr. Snobby!**

**Now Onto the story!**

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_This. Is getting quite awkward… _Sam thought as she stood outside by the doors of a large office where any passerby could clearly hear a man bellowing profanities at the top of his lungs. _Well, I guess I can't say my reaction wouldn't be the same, but I don't think yelling at an old man solves anything. _She thoughtlessly played with her curly black hair remembering the greasy, unkind, hook-nosed man who had rushed right past her entering the wooden doorway without a second glance.

This was Sam's first time ever in England. _Wow… So much has happened in one day. First, an oddly dressed man shows up at my foster home, then he tells me I am a witch, now I find out that Bird-Man is my new guardian! _It was just too much for the fourteen year-old to handle. Sam needed some time to understand the full reality of it all. It didn't help her sane persona when the old guy, _Dumbledore was it?_, had grasped her hand tightly, made the girl touch a rusty watch, than next experience a supreme wedgie, and finally land in fantasy filled castle with talking portraits.

_It __**has**__ to be computer animated! _She though fiercely poking a painting of an annoying knight who kept yelling at her, "INTRUDER!" When the poor befuddled little painted man fall off his small horse for the seventeenth time (the cause: waving his sword at the curious teenager) Sam became bored with her constant touching and went back to sit in front of the large doors. She looked through her luggage and quickly produced her precious iPod in hopes of drowning out the adult's conversation and instead listened to angst-filled lyrics of Three Days Grace, the song; Get Out Alive.

Getting really into the music, Sam started to sing.

"If you wanna get out alive,

Ohh run for your life.

If you wanna get out alive,

Ohh run for your life.

This is my last time,

She said as she faded away.

It's hard to imagine,

But one day you'll end up like me.

Then she said-"

A tap on Sam's shoulder forced her to open eye's that she hadn't realized had gotten closed. Standing in front the teen girl was the unfriendly, loud adult, and Dumbledore.

"Excuse me for interrupting your lovely performance Samantha, but I have someone I would like for you to meet." The old man's eye's twinkled as he stepped to the side. "This is my good friend, and your new guardian, Severus Snape."

Blushing slightly at being caught in the act of singing, Sam appraised Bird-Man, while he the same. Snape had on a shabby black cloak, unwashed coal black hair, a hook-nose, and dark shrewd eyes. Samantha Kline had friendly, yet guarded large brown eye's, her cork-screw curls trapped inside of a red rubber banded ponytail, ripped jeans, a white t-shirt covered in paint, and a grubby hand-me-down jacket tied across her hips.

"It's a pleasure to meet you!" Sam said with her grade A best false smile.

Snape only pursed his thin lip's in response. _Ugh! He could at least have the decency to __**pretend **__that he's happy to make my acquaintance! _She dropped her grin and stared right back into his cold eye's.

"Okay, look. You don't know me, and I don't know you. Let's not start our first meeting off like this. Hell, we could even learn to love each other as father and daughter! But right now, we're strangers, so we can set some ground rules here and now."

Dumbledore stood at the side being completely ignored while this brash young American held a staring contest with the most despised professor on Hogwarts grounds! And to top it all off, she was standing up to him holding the power in the conversation! _Oh, if only Minerva were here to witness this! _He thought humored by this laughable sight.

Snape widened his cold eye's fractionally when Sam began to speak to him in that arrogant tone of voice. He seemed almost…. Awed at her defiance.

"Alright," he started before she could get more words into her little speech. "Rule number one; you will show respect to me during class time and all times. Two; you will not be getting noisy with my own business, and I shall do the same for you. Three; don't go being a smartass, because I shall deal you the same punishment I deal out to every student. Four; I extremely dislike children, especially teenagers, so do not come to me for the pathetic excuse such as, _"My boyfriend dumped me!" _Snape stated all of this without taking a breath.

"Agreed," Sam said just as frigidly. "Now for my rules. One; It seems you enjoy your personal time, well, so do I. When I am painting, I request no noise be in the same room as meat all times. Two; I AM a teenager, and you will have to learn to live with that because I may need some help with my homework. I'm a quick study so you won't have to be _'bothered' _by me for long. Three; I won't be a jackass if you treat me kindly. Now I am not a child, I do not expect any special treatment. You may treat as you treat the rest of your students. Are these conditions reasonable?"

Snape and Sam looked each other up and down once more. _This could work… _they each thought in unison. And thus they shook hands sealing their fates and Dumbledore stood watching amusedly at this odd couple's new beginning.

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**So, what did you guys think?! I need feed back desperately!**


	2. New Roomate

**Without further ado, the next chapter! YAY!**

**Snape; *begins to read ahead* Why must you torture me?! What have I ever done you?!**

**Sam; Stop whining and let the people read!**

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_This can't be happening! It isn't right! How in God's Name can this be- _"GRYFFINDOR!" _It happened!_

Snape stared irritated at the bother that has now become known as Samantha Kline. The brash young American walked confidently towards the Gryffindor table and began to introduce herself thusly, "Hey there! I'm Samantha Kline! Fresh out of California. And you are?"

_She is not my problem. She is not my problem. She is not my problem. She is not my- _"Severus, is that the new student your looking after?"

The frustrated professor turned his gaze in the direction of the speaker, and low and behold, it was none other than the Golly Giant himself. Hagrid had a friendly enough smile. He honestly and innocently just wanted to know if the rumors about the girl being raised by Snape were true. Regretfully for the kind man, Snape took this question as an incredulous insult. He narrowed his already small eye's until they were less than slits. Hagrid's smile disappeared and he quickly began to explain his inquiry.

"Well-I-I-was just wonderin' 'coz she's older tha' all the other kid's and-and," the poor man was getting flustered under Snape's intense gaze, so he all but gave up on the awkward conversation altogether and continued to finish his pot roast.

The rest of the evening of the evening followed without much incident, besides the many outbursts Sam would make such as, "Holy Crap! It's a ghost!" or, "Dude! You mean we have curfew?!" some annoying shriek as those. Finally, as the students proceeded to their dormitories', Snape heaved a huge sigh a relief. Now I can go back to my room, read that new book, and get a good night's rest with only having to put up with that Kline girl during class time and holidays!

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_Why, God? What did I do to deserve such misfortune?_

"And so, Miss Kline shall be living in your company for the remainder of her stay at Hogwarts, Severus." Dumbledore stated merrily.

"Why?" the Professor retorted back most bluntly.

"Well, since you are her new guardian, a father-figure if you will,-

Sam snorted out loud, then turned a bright shining tomato red. "Uh, heh, sorry." The girl than proceeded to twirl her long hair.

The headmaster's eye's hinted at his humor in the situation as well, but continued as if there were no interruption. "Young Samantha is now your "step-daughter", so you must learn to live with each other. I have already added another chamber to your living quarter's for Miss Kline. You and her must cooperate, live, acknowledge, and then finally… trust each other."

With everything said and done, Albus Dumbledore (Puppet Master) glided out through the large cellar doors. Snape and Sam slowly turned away from the closed doors, and looked at each other. Then, the most heinous words were uttered from the teenager's mouth.

"So Daddy-O, where do I sleep?" Sam dropped her luggage onto Snape's lush, green carpet.

_Why, God? What did I do to deserve such misfortune?_


	3. It's a Hard Knock Life!

**Hey there fellow book worms! On with Snape-filled-fun! Also, we're going to delve a bit into Sam's past. Also, just 'cause I can, I put electricity in Sam's room.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series, nor any of the characters… (goes off to cry in emo corner)**

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"Under no circumstances, whatsoever, are to let your new little friend's know about our… situation. Is that clear?" The Bird-Man commanded in an authoritative voice.

"Like I'd want people to know my new, "Papa" is the most hated teacher in the castle." with those parting words, Sam exited the living room to my new bedroom to unpack, only to find all of her stuff was prepared.

Before shutting the doors, she heard the man mumble something about, "ungrateful, snobby, little-" then closed the pair of black doors for utter silence. Sam was a bit shocked to find a moderately cool girl's room when she turned on the lights. There was a dark, blue, canopy bed in the direct center of the back wall facing the entrance. This room had a green, blue, purple theme. The curtains, rugs, lamp shades, even a stuffed bear match her favorite colors.

"This is… fawsome." Sam walked toward the bed and dumped the contents of her personal bag onto the soft comforter covering her light blue blanket.

Various sized paint brushes, a case of paint tubes, a few books, her silver iPod, and lastly an envelope full of pictures fell from the small backpack. She completely ignored the photos, and moved onto putting away the other trinkets.

"Where is that canvas..?" The teenager turned to find it standing in the corner near an empty book shelve. While Sam quietly and briskly put everything where they needed to be, she got dressed for bed, and sat on the queen sized bed staring at the photographs lying in front of her. They were poking out of the envelope, begging to be looked at, but there they sat. The new Gryffindor sat there for a few minutes, just staring at the white carrier, then went to bed not sparing it a second glance.

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Dream Sequence! 

"Look, look! There they come!" a small girl with curly pigtails whispered frantically, while pointing to a black minivan coming up the long driveway.

Several children of different ages ran out from the flower bushes to the front of the aging, Louisiana, mansion with the speaker at the lead. Everyone waved merrily at the arriving car until a very stern woman came rushing out the front oak doors, cursing their terrible manners.

"Samantha! I should've known you would lead the other children out here to greet the Anders." Ms. Welsh, the caretaker of the Wicker's Orphanage, wagged an accusing finger at nine year-old Sam. "What have I told you, always remember your manners when someone has the good graces to visit us! Now hurry and get back inside to the kitchen. During your lunch, the Anders and I shall be looking over your files, and maybe-maybe-they will consider adopting one of you!"

Hearing those last words spill from Ms. Welsh's thin, fish lip's, the kids ran back inside as if she had promised them a life's supply of candy! Sam and an even younger boy lagged behind, having a secret conversation.

"Do you think those people will adopt us Sammy?" Kevin, Sam's seven year-old brother asked with hope. "Maybe, maybe not. It all depends little man." she rubbed his shaggy, brown hair playfully. "Now let's get to the dinner table, or Bobby will eat all the sandwiches!"

The orphans spent the remaining time before visiting the potential parents by eating, reading their homework assignments, or playing with the new games Matilda (their orphanage's teacher) gave them for Christmas. Everyone was corralled into the daycare at exactly 6 o'clock P.M. for bedtime inspection. The older kids helped the kindergarteners into their pajamas, and Ms. Welsh examined their teeth to make sure they had brushed. The Anders watched all of this in fascination.

After they were all checked over, Sam and the rest were sent up to bed. But Sam never did listen to orders quite well. She stayed outside of the large room she shared with three other girls. The ticking of the grandfather clock silenced any noise the creaky stairs made as they complained of the little weight that was Sam. The curious girl snuck behind the opposite doorway with an ear to it to eavesdrop in on the adult's conversation. They were talking rather lowly, but she could just barely make out what was going on.

A gentle woman's voice filled the quiet room like a gunshot, "We would like to adopt Kevin. Kevin Kline. We've always wanted a little boy."

_FAWSOME! Me and Kevin are out of this dump! _She silently cheered not wanting to draw attention, but the next sentence made her cease all parading antics. "What about his sister, Samantha? You ARE going to adopt her as well, aren't you?" Ms. Welsh questioned.

There was a moment of complete silence, then a man's voice answered. "The thing is, we would adopt her if we could, but we just don't have the money for more than three people. We feel truly terrible for pulling apart siblings, but we just can't afford it."

Ms. Welsh may have been a strict, bossy, arrogant woman, but she was anything but unfeeling. The woman had seen the bond between Kevin and Sam ever since they arrived at Wicker's Orphanage, she knew how much love the two children shared. The caretaker spent the next half hour trying to convince the couple to adopt another child, a sister less child, but her attempts were unsuccessful. Samantha stood their expressionless, listening to every word, until finally, she trudged back up the staircase.

The heart-broken girl snatched up her favorite picture of herself and Kevin, then stole into the boy's room where her brother lay sleeping, unaware of the conversation going on downstairs. Sam tucked the photo into his sketch book, then slipped under his covers where she lay asleep cuddling the small boy protectively as tears streamed down her face.

"Good night Kevin. Sweet dreams little brother. I won't let the bed bugs bite, precious boy. I love you with all my heart. I pray to God that you will live a wonderful life."

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_I haven't had that dream in a while… _Sam thought sluggishly walking down the hallways to have breakfast. A pair of red-heads passing by the tired girl overheard words that sounded like, "Need… Food… Will… Die… Without… Morning muffin!" It was a pitiful wail, but very funny. The twins laughed out loud and swung back around to face the new student.

"Hey there! We're the Weasley twins! Fred, and George! You are?" they asked in unison expectantly.

"Ah, I'm Sam. It's great to meet you and all, but how the hell do I get to the dining hall?!" Apparently, Sam was really hungry.

Fred and George stared at the tired teenager for a brief second of surprise at the sound of urgency just because she was hungry, then broke out in laughter once more. "We'll show you the way Sammy!" Fred slung his arm over her right shoulder. "Make way for the new kid. Come on, make way, the girl is dieing of starvation hear!" George slung his arm over her left shoulder.

_This could be the making of a very dangerous friendship… Snape stared at the trio in horror, then looked up at the ceiling. "Now you're just playing with me, aren't you?" _


	4. Watch Where You're Walking!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor the characters! WHY, GOD?! **

**P.S. For stories sake, Fred and George are in fifth year as well, so that will make it Harry, Ron, and Hermione's fourth year in Hogwarts! Lets time-skip a little a say that Harry's adventure in the goblet of fire happened in their fifth year! The Golden Trio finally get a normal school year! YAY**

**Konichiwa everyone! It's me! I hope you guys have been enjoying the story so far, but I would REALLY appreciate feedback! So far, no one has been telling me what I should improve or do to make it better! Well, maybe you have and I haven't read it yet (sorry!) but that's besides the point. I need your reviews! It's the only thing that gets me wanting to write other chapters. No response makes me think the story isn't any good! I'm just gonna go be emo now…**

**Sam: Ah, come on! That's, like, the fifth time you've locked yourself in the emo closet! You jerks better start, or there won't be any more author to write the damned story! Not when I'm through with her moping ass! Be happy, DAMNIT! I command it!**

**Snape: Oh, will you shut up so the little idiot will continue the next chapter!?**

**Sam: You're not concerned with what she has planned for you?**

**Snape: Of course I am! But It might as well get done and over with it.**

**Me: (jumps in sudden joy and crazy laughter) Alrighty then!**

**Sam: Wow… you're in deep shit if she's that easy to cheer up!**

**Snape: Sigh… I know.**

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Sam seemed pretty content sitting with trouble making twins, and the weird thing was, she didn't fall for their switching game.

"Will you two stop pretending to be the other? You are Fred, and you are George! Lets eat our breakfast and get to class."

They stared at the American for a seconds before deciding that she completely worthy to hang with them. No one knew which twin was witch till they spilled the beans! Also, her brashness always made them laugh. Yup! Samantha Kline is going to be their new partner in crime!

"So, Sammy. How come you didn't show up in the common room last?" the twins innocently inquired, taking a piece of toast from her plate.

Sam was too preoccupied with swatting George's hand away from her plate, so she blurted the first words that came to mind. "I was adopted by one the teachers. So now I'm rooming with him."

"What?!" their eye's widened in incomprehension of what the girl said. They probably misheard her. "You've been adopted by a teacher?"

The rescued toast dropped from her small hand's after she realized her fatal mistake. Sam had just told the secret Snape and she were desperately attempting to hide, and her little brain had just failed her. _Damn my unfocused mind! This is why I do so poorly in math. That retarded teacher seated me next to the window! He had no one to blame but himself! Huh, I wonder if I'll do any better here? How is Mark doing in AP History right about now? What was I thinking about again? OH! There's grape jelly for my toast!_

The unfocused teen reached for the jelly jar happily humming completely forgetting the boy's question. The twins asked her once more, but she merely responded with, "Huh? What are we talking about again? Sorry, I tend to zone out a lot!"

Fred and George didn't buy it at first, thinking Sam was avoiding the subject, but later in the day, due to many certain incidents, they realized Sam did in fact have a short attention span. But the boy's didn't think of it as annoying. It was actually quite entertaining!

Incident Number One:

Fred and George were walking to Sam for their first class, when they suddenly discovered she wasn't by their side. They backtracked a few yards to see the confused girl following a butterfly! Than a loud bell gonged, and Sam turned her head to see where the noise was coming from. That was a bad mistake. She trip over a stone and fell on top of a small first-year girl who shrieked in fear.

Incident Number Two:

The three of them were sitting bored to tears in Professor Flitwick's classroom, learning how to Levitate (I'm making this up!), when they heard a large BOOM! Sam sat in her chair with smoke coming out of her ears, and her eye's changed the color yellow. Sam had been thrilled at first to be performing her first attempt at magic, but when the thrill went away after she had already completely the spell perfectly, her mind had drifted to poor pet cat Nugget.

He was all alone in that dark chamber, his yellow eye's were probably visible in the dark. While she was thinking of him, Sam had been waving her wand lazily in the air, and POOF! Smokey-Cat-Lady!

Incident Number Three:

The final accident that proved she possessed a short attention span was in Professor Trelawney's classroom when Sam was asked a question. "What do you foresee in the tea dregs?"

"Well… I see a tiny swirl in the middle with a big hole. OH! Is it a donut hole? I've been craving a one since I got to Hogwarts!" she exclaimed. "Hey, why do they call the school Hogwarts anyways? It sounds pretty funny once you say it enough. Think about. Oh, now I want pork chops! Do you think they'll serve any at lunch or-"

"Uh, thank you for the answer Miss Kline." With that, the owl-eyed teacher turned to her desk with a confused look covering her face.

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"Ah, I wished they had served pork-chops!" Sam complained.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked up to see the twins and her had walked up behind them for lunch period. They were slightly speechless because the American had altered the uniform. Her robe was covered in several different pins and buttons with different words or pictures. Then her tie was warped around her ponytail instead of around her shirt collar. Instead of black dress shoes, she wore dark blue converse.

"Hi, I'm Sam!" she proclaimed and held out her hand.

"And we are her loyal cronies!" Fred and George happily sang out jokingly as they each put an arm on her shoulder's.

The Golden Trio quickly exchanged a glance, then offered polite smiles at the new student.

"Hello there! I'm Hermione Granger. I don't believe we've been formerly introduced yet." the bushy-haired girl accepted the hand enthusiastically.

Then Harry, then Ron greeted her. With all the how-do-you-dos out of the way, the other three sat done to eat. Snape looked onto this scene with growing dread from the teacher's table. _I knew this was going to happen…_


	5. The Flaws With Switching Genders

**Sam: Where's Kira's Loyal Follower? All I found near her computer was this note. It says, "Disclaimer; I don't own Harry Potter nor any of its characters." Why would she write this if she can just be here to say it herself?**

**Snape: Probably off somewhere crying again about how "No one loves me!" or "I'm a terrible author!" **

**Sam: Hey, since no one really reviewed a lot, her feeling's are hurt! Stop being so mean!**

**Fred and George: (come running in) Hey, guy's, we just saw the puppet master tying a rope around her neck outside on a tree-branch!**

**Snape: Good riddance!**

**Sam: OHMYGAWD?! Hurry, we gotta go! (runs outside with twins after throwing large chair at Snape's head)**

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Currently, Sam, Fred, and George sat together at a large desk in the dungeons for their first potions class this year. As Snape slowly strutted about the room near the front, the twins were mixing liquids that did not look like they should be mixed together. One was a light red color and smelled of bacon, and the next looked to be a neon orange that held the scent of sunflowers. Sam knew that she shouldn't go along with the plan, but it was just so much fun! She even added her concoction of lime green fluid and potion quickly turned a bright pink!

"Alright, who's the first guinea-pig?" George questioned the other two.

The twin's both smiled devilishly and held it out to Sam. She looked at the bubbling potion, than at the boys.

"You two have to take it as well, or no deal." she stated in serious-don't-mess-with-me look.

They all agreed, rather hesitantly, then each took a large gulp. After a few seconds… nothing happened, and they all sighed in relief, yet a bit of disappointment. Everyone at least wanted a small change.So the disheartened trio resumed their studious work of creating an aging potion. A few minutes later, Snape made it to the back of the and glanced at them. Then for some reason, the Potion's Master snapped his head back to face them, and his beady eye's widened with mouth agape.

"WHAT HAVE YOU THREE DONE NOW?!" Snape commanded menacingly.

The trio each glanced at each quite confused, then their own eye's widened as well. The mystery potion had worked! It changed them plenty. They had all switched genders!

"HOLY CRAP!" Sam, George, and Fred yelled in unison.

Sam's long, glossy, shining hair had grown to a boy's cut, short and curly. She had also grown about the twin's original height. George's and Fred's shaggy red locks had grown past their shoulder's, their height decreased dramatically (to about 5 foot 4 inches), and their chest's seemed to have formed obvious lumps. Though this new knowledge of their switched genders should've shocked them greatly, all three of them remained silent for a moment or two, then fell to the floor laughing hysterically!

"You-you-you look so stupid!" Sam shrieked between her now deep-throated chuckles.

"So do you!" the twins giggled breathlessly.

While Fred, George, and Sam rolled on the floor, the other students didn't know whether to laugh along with them, or back away from the seething teacher.

Snape didn't know what to do in a situation like this. Should he cure them first, or take away house points? Send the idiots to the hospital wing, or straight to detention? Also, the other problem lied in how to punish his… step-daughter? Should he send to Samantha to her bed chamber, or deal out the same punishment for the Weasley twins? These thoughts ran through his sharp mind in about 2 seconds before he took action.

The angry bird-man took three strides and grasped their hair in his hand's, then shook the trouble-makers till they ceased laughing, and paid attention. "For disrupting the class, mixing unknown potions, and ignoring my rules, all three of you shall lose the Gryffindor House 50 points each. Next, for the remainder of the day, you will stay the opposite gender until noon time tomorrow. Am I making myself perfectly clear?" he questioned with complete authority.

Sam, Fred, and George nodded their heads simultaneously, fighting the urge to burst out in laughter once again at the hilariously infuriated expression on the Professor's face. When Snape released them, the bell clanged (I don't know how Hogwarts signals for the end of a period) that it was time for the period to end. Thankfully, potions was the fifth-years' last class for the day, so everyone gladly left the heavy atmosphere that was the dungeons and made their way into the sunlit corridors that led to the dining hall. While walking down the hallways, the gender-confused trio received many cat-calls and wolf-whistles from everyone who knew about the incident. The news was spreading fast how the American and the infamous Weasley twins had made a catastrophe in potions class and somehow switched from boys to girls, and vice versa.

For the students who hadn't heard the news, several girls and boys began hitting on the disguised trio. They did not know whether to laugh in their faces', or run away frightened by the cheesy pick-up lines and assorted come-ons. Somehow, they all made it through the rest of the day without any major problems, and collapsed exhausted in the common room after dinner. At first, the twins were quite thrilled with the matter in which they were given the female body experience, but Hermione quickly put a spell on their clothes so that they cannot come off. When they tried it, Sam and Ginny had attacked the hormonal dopple gangers with biscuits and carrot sticks.

"So… what do we do now?" Fred sighed as they all sat slumped on the cushy couch.

Usually, the twins would have a never ending list of things to do when bored, but now that their bodies had changed, they didn't know what would happen to them if they tested their new experimental candies. Also, for some reason, not only did their genders switch, but they gained the same physical strength as girls. They couldn't taunt Moaning Mertil 'cause the trio had no idea which bathroom they could use, and they certainly couldn't leave the common room for fear of more admirers.

"I guess I should head to my room." Sam begrudgingly headed to toward the portrait.

"Hey! Wait, where are you going? The dormitories are just upstairs." George pointed behind the couch confused by the girl's/boy's direction.

"Yeah, but mine is downstairs." Sam closed the painting behind her before the twins could voice their questions.

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"PLEASE!" an anguished yell sounded from Snape's bedchamber.

"NO!" the irritated man replied back.

"Come on! It's been long enough! Just change me back to a girl damnit!" Sam requested urgently.

"I told you NO! I've already made my decision for your punishment, and that's final."

"Dear God, I've been through what no other girl should be put through! I was hit on by girls! They gave me goo-goo eye's and flirty smiles! And I think someone pinched my butt! Let me tell you, those hands didn't at all feel like a girl's! It was a dude! Not that I have anything against that kind of thing, but I thought I would be a girl when that happened! Also, I REALLY gotta pee! You want an innocent girl going into the guys' restroom and-"

"Alright, alright! I'll change you back!" Bird-man snapped, a red tint blossoming on his pale cheek's.

He waved his wand in a complicated motion, then a Sam's skin tingled all over in a feather-touch feeling, then he was a she again!

"Thanks Daddy-O!" Sam rushed up and gave the stoic man a huge kiss on the cheek, then ran to the bathroom.

Snape stood there speechless for a few moments, then sighed and went to his bedroom. _Teenage girls are… annoying._

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**Fred: (the twins come walking into the room, Fred's carrying an unconscious Kira's Loyal Follower) Where should I put her?**

**Sam: On the couch.**

**Snape: What is s**_**he**_** doing back? (he was busy wrapping bandages around his bleeding head)**

**Sam: Before she jumped, the branch broke and our suicidal author landed on George.**

**George: Can I go lie down now?**


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